February 9

The Forest

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“I don’t care what you think of me. I don’t care if you think that I am out of my mind. I don’t care. But what I am going to tell you is the truth,” said Josh with a trembling voice.



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Posted February 9, 2019 by admin in category "Adventure", "Crime", "Drama", "Fiction", "Horror", "Mystery", "thriller

2 COMMENTS :

  1. By Phil Gladden on

    You have several grammar issues. You use the word was eighty nine times. In any instants you use was it is passive voice which is weak. You use the word had twenty seven times. Has is a filler word and it can in most cases be eliminated without changing the meaning. You over use the word I one hundred and twenty seven times. Its hard not to use in first person but it becomes redundant. Finally you use too many weak verbs. Look is used thirteen times when there are other more active versions. Gazed, glanced. peered, squinted, stared, Hope this helps

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